trying to explain to folks why this was important to me was difficult. emotions kept getting in the way. people around me were puzzled as to why i felt so strongly....at that time, it was hard to calmly explain it. even now, many will never truly understand what was driving me because i still find it hard to put into words. it was important that i be able to be there. it was important that assistance to the university come from aggies. i know that many offers were coming from all over the state, but to me and others, we needed to be able to show that formers were tied to the university and that the former students were there to help. (not very clear, but hard for me to express)

by the time we arrived in bryan at 11pm, we knew that there had been 9 fatalities...still unsure how many more were trapped. multiple critical injuries at the hospitals. getting to sleep was not easy. thoughts kept me awake. thoughts of the families and how they were. thoughts of the injured....prayers for all. how were the emergency services personnel. finally, morning came and we were able to get information from some of the on-scene personnel. the talk was subdued, even being able to see friends from 20yrs ago did not raise the mood.

when we arrived at the university, we were greeted by several of the ems personnel. we were immediately made to feel welcome.  smiles on their faces, sadness in their eyes. trying to stay positive in outlook. despite the ordeal of the previous 30 hours, their initial concerns were that we were taken care of. in the face of disaster, they were the perfect hosts. we were there in support of their service, they went out of the way to make our stay comfortable. i only can hope and pray that i would act the same if the roles were reversed.

during our time on campus, i was struck by how quiet it was. very few people were out. i dont know if they had left the campus, if they were staying inside. whether they were at church or at the site. but areas that are normally high population areas were deserted. those people that were out were quiet. small groups walked, talking quietly if at all. lots of people did nothing but hug or hold each other. aggies supporting aggies. in the msc, giant cards were being signed to send to the injured, to the families of the aggies lost. again, quiet. there were several mobile blood bank vehicles on campus. lines of students and others there to donate blood. lines were there all day. aggies giving for aggies in trouble.

we were sitting outside rudder tower while university personnel were involved in a critical incident stress debriefing. while there, a student walked up to us and thanked us for being there. she explained that her cousin was one of those aggies killed in the accident.  all she could say was that our presence was important to her and that is was appreciated by many. i was moved to tears then, as i am now in writing it.

as the day progressed, we encountered more of the university ems personnel. without exception, they were first concerned with our comfort or with thanking us for being there. without exception, we were seeing more evidence of the impact that was being felt. and without exception, i witnessed firsthand the power of aggies being there for their brother and sister aggies. words of comfort, a look, a touch, a hug, a cry. the healing was beginning. although i know the process will be long and difficult, i also know that it will happen.

at 10pm, we learned that another student had died from the injuries. this one was especially hard to take for me, as this was one that i saw on the front page of the newspaper. he had been conscious during the rescue. i did not know him, did not participate in the rescue or treatment, but this was one that hit me hard for some reason. everyone in the room was quiet when one of the folks with me from austin commented that he was number 12--the twelth man. i got cold, goosebumps on my arms. for me, this will forever change my perception of the 12th man.

today as we were leaving the campus, we first stopped to take pictures of the a&m ambulance next to the austin ems ambulance in front of the reed arena. it was hard for me to say good bye to our hosts, our friends. i cannot say that our presence made any difference in the long run. i cannot say that we had any impact on the aggies that we met. i can say that i have been impacted. i will always remember the way that aggie students stood up to a disastrous event. i can say that i have never been prouder to be an aggie.   the way that the aggie community--current and former students, faculty and family--has come together shows something that i have been told since i was growing up: we are a family. and this family has something special, something that there is nowhere else: the spirit of aggieland.

i am home now...i am still thinking about all that has transpired in the last 60 hours. i think that it will take a lot longer to figure it out. my thoughts and prayers are with all involved and all those that are watching.

take care, peace, and gig'em

jim persons '78
charter president, TAMECT

The following response from the Care Team and TAMUEMS was outstanding. I do not know how to put it in words.  God I love those kids. Then came the response from the other local services. Remember them? You would not believe how well everyone worked together. From everything I observed, all and I mean all attitudes were checked at the door. Then came the response from the world, including all of you. I just wanted to thank all of you for your help, offers, support, calls and prayers. We are all trying to heal. What all of you have done for our current Care Team and EMS folks has no measure. I know all of you must be very frustrated. Let me give you some feed back. The kids are all doing the best they can with this and now know that all of you are out there supporting them as they work through the issues they have encountered. This in itself was a major help. I love all of you too.  Always have and always will.

On a personal note try to imagine after two strait days of not stopping (If my Mother ask you, I have been telling her I got a few hours sleep in there somewhere.) I walked into dispatch and Matt Menger was sitting there working the phones like he had never left. He told me to go away for a while and get some distance. I lied and told him I was planning to go to my parents house for a day or so. Then I noticed that Matt (along with the Folks from the Austin crew that were from before my time) started looking after our kids for me. For the record at 1705 hours on 11/19/99 Matt logged on as me and I actually did go to my parents house near Houston. I got a few hours sleep and was able to keep some food down. For your future reference apple pie seems to be a safe post trauma stress food. Apparently while I slept the 12th Aggie died in hospital. Matt Menger along with the Austin crew representing all of you was there for our Medic that had treated this 12th Aggie and needed someone. God bless all of you and please keep the faith for us during this time.

Park "Sparky" Knight
TAMUEMS/TAMECT Faculty Advisory and UPD Officer